It all started when I woke up around 6:30 yesterday morning. I tried to wake my little sister up to get ready for school, and she wouldn't budge. She's seven and stubborn and she was still sleepy. When I finally did get her to get up at almost 7, she was just dragging and being a slowpoke and I was in a hurry so I got impatient and yelled at her and she started crying. I know she's a little kid and she wasn't happy to be awake and she probably forgot all about it before lunchtime yesterday, but it still made me feel terrible about myself for making her cry.
It had been raining off and on all morning and it was raining when I got to school, so I sat in my car for a few minutes longer than I usually do waiting for my friends to get there. At 8:05, when none of them had shown up yet, I went ahead in to my first period online class. Mrs. Humphrey is the DLA in there and she doesn't mind if we have our cell phones out because we have to call and text our teachers, so I checked my phone and had a text from Marieke telling me she wasn't coming to school. A few minutes passed with me sitting at our table alone, and Beth finally walked in about 15 minutes late. She ran off to talk to our counselor about something and then when she came back we logged on to our Pronto, the instant messaging service for NC Virtual High School classes, and we talked for the rest of the class period about some things that kind of hurt my feelings and put me in a worse mood. Sure, we could've just talked, but I wasn't feeling well with my sinuses and all, so we just used the Pronto.
Homeroom lifted my spirits a little when Spencer showed us the DVD of his Hamlet project. His English class had to perform scenes from the play and record them like a movie. Spencer, being the person he is, added humor to the project and it was funny to watch. He did a great job and I'm thankful to him for showing it to us and lifting my spirits for that few minutes.
In second period, which is Show Choir, my spirits fell again. See, I have been in chorus since seventh grade (I'm now a senior), and when I started high school, I was introduced to the musical Wicked. I have been asking our director for years to let us sing something from the musical. Finally, this year we are singing a medley of some of the songs from the show. There's a big solo in the medley for Elphaba, the wicked witch. I worked really hard on the solo before the audition, and when I tried out, many of my friends and peers told me it was my best audition yet! I didn't get the solo, and I was disappointed, but I congratulated the three finalists and moved on with life. It was just one solo. It wasn't that big of a deal. Well, already feeling bad yesterday, physically and emotionally, having to watch the finalists re-audition pushed me over the edge and I just cried. Cried over making Savannah cry, over the things Beth and I talked about, over the solo, over not having any scholarship money, over every little thing I had bottled up inside that was bothering me. And to top it all off, I hadn't heard from Jordan yet, and it was almost 11, and I knew he had a work meeting at 8 or 9 and he had to be awake...
Come to find out, Jordan wasn't awake. He didn't wake up until 10:40, when he texted me very disappointed in himself for oversleeping and missing his meeting. Everything was fine, but it was just NOT a good morning for either of us.
Later on that afternoon, I picked Marieke up from her house and we went and ran some errands and just hung out for a few hours. We picked up Savannah and Marieke's little sister, Saskia, from their schools. They are only a year apart in age and they had a great time spending the afternoon with us. We also went to drop off a project Marieke had due, give Lexi's dad some Awareness Beads for their family, get some more beads from the Goldsboro WalMart, and then we took the little girls for lunch at McDonald's before going to the Rosewood WalMart to pick up some medicine for my dad.
It was fun to hang out with Marieke and to see our little sisters have such a good time together. They reminded us of ourselves.
When we were at WalMart, they put our change down this really cool donation container for Children's Miracle Network. It had these neat little coin slides and stuff and it was a really fun way to donate. We also donated money at the register and added some "bricks" to the Yellow Brick Road To Miracles. It made me smile to see our sisters excited about donating to the kids I care about so much.
After we picked up the medicine, I dropped Marieke and Saskia off at their house and Savannah and I came home. It was a little after 5, so I started getting ready for church. I left the house again at 6 and picked up Marieke and Sydney and we went to Main Event, our Wednesday night youth service.
We saw Mr. David there, which was really great for me and my mood. I hadn't seen him since he told us he was going to start chemo again. Sometimes I feel like cancer surrounds me.... Anyway, it was great to see him. I hugged him a few times.
Marieke and I walked over to the kids' church building before service started and we saw Olivia and her friends. I gave her an Awareness Beads necklace with her name on it and she absolutely loved it. Then Marieke and I walked back over to our building and got milkshakes and sat down with Syd and Kristal to hear the message.
Pastor Jared didn't speak last night. Instead, Pastor Josh from the middle school ministry did. We started a sermon series called Obsessed, and the first message was on pride. It gave us a lot to think about. The two things that stick out in my head from the service are "God doesn't make junk, you are an original masterpiece." and "You can never be too humble."
At the end of the service, Olivia came over to our building and she was talking to me about how she's been and her horse, and her beads, and she told me she's going to the beach with a bunch of other cancer kids and she wanted to take them beads like hers. I made about 20 last night when I got him and I took them over to her house today for her to take to some of the kids.
After church I came home and had a late dinner with my family before going upstairs to make the beads Livi asked for and going to bed. I hadn't talked to Jordan since he got to work at 4 and it was now after 11. He usually calls me at least once from work and since he hadn't, I was a little worried. I finally heard from him about midnight. He said they were really busy. We talked until we fell asleep and he reminded me to count my blessings by telling me to think about all of the kids we follow and all of the tornado victims and earthquake victims. He said he understood that the things bothering me felt important to me, and then he just listened to me tell him everything. He's a wonderful listener. Just one of the many many things I love about him.
This morning I woke up still feeling a little down, but then I remembered all the good things about yesterday. Like Savannah and Saskia donating to CMN, and seeing Mr. David at church, and seeing Olivia smile and her little eyes light up when she talked about handing out those beads. And I thought about how lucky I am to have my friends and family and my amazing boyfriend and his family. That's what's important at the end of the day.
Sitting on my bed in my pajamas this morning, I realized that even bad days are good, because when you think about them, most of the time you can find at least one good thing about them. I found a lot. My heart was overwhelmed with happiness this morning thinking about that. And then, when I got to school, two kids asked about my beads, one girl bought a bracelet, and Mrs. Humphrey even bought some. Then in chorus, even though I was disappointed about the Elphaba solo, I got up and tried out for more. And this afternoon I took those beads to Olivia and I got to see her beautiful little face light up again. I am so blessed to be able to go over there and see her, a true miracle, light up over some simple beads. Even if I did run out of gas on her road and Marieke had to come give me some gas to get home. Hey, look, another blessing. I have a best friend so caring that she came immediately to help me when I called. And to add to the blessings, the stuff Beth and I talked about that hurt my feelings so bad yesterday? it doesn't even matter because it was all a big misunderstanding.
So when life gets you down, count your blessings, because even bad days are good for the heart.
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| Saskia (left) and Savannah (right) with the coin slide tube after making their donations to CMN |
Until my next post,
Stormy <3
Funny how something so terrible can turn into something so great in just one day :)
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